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Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls | |||||||
 
| 80% Recommended by our customers. Publisher: Riverhead Trade Catalog: Book Release date: 2005-08-01 Media: Paperback Number of pages: 304 Ean: 9781594481888 Book Isbn: 1594481881  Tip: compare prices with similar booksAuthor:
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Written on October 23, 2007 Summary: More later I have only just started this book, but it seems on track so far. I will write a second when I'm done. For now, though, I'd like to address the folks whose reviews tend toward the "it's not as bad out there as she says" conclusion: maybe that's true for you. If so, great. My experience as a boyfriend, brother, cousin, etc., is that a lot of women and girls are in a lot of pain. Having spent a couple brief periods in inpatient psychiatric settings myself, I have seen young women with deep scratch marks up and down their arms, one of whom carried this book with her wherever she went. In my 20s, I had a lot of relationships and friendships with brilliant, sensitive women who drank, took drugs, fought and slept around. Some turned out okay. Some are still a little lost. At least one died. I'm just starting to travel now, and what I've seen suggests that this problem is NOT universal. The cariocas I shared the boardwalk with in Rio de Janeiro enjoyed each other's company without the wariness I learned to display in the threshing floor of junior high, and which I use to this day. The girls in the family I stayed with in Italy were happy and emotionally open in a way I've almost never seen here. I could go on and on, but I'd just like to leave with one parting thought. I don't like to use dumb buzzwords, but in this instance I'll make an exception: with the advent of the Internet, the decay of American culture has reached a tipping point. It took television about fifty years to really get going on the path of cultural ruination; the Internet has accomplished far more in far less time. Ever heard anyone talk about the Golden Age of the World Wide Web?  Written on October 20, 2007 Summary: Raising Strong, Resilient Girls This book was riveting. From the first chapter, through the painful case studies, to the final solutions the author extended, it was like looking through multipaned windows and mirrors, seeing my sister, my mother, my daughters and my granddaughters, my friends, my students, and myself. Coincidentally, a few months prior to reading this book, I had come across an old photo of myself while sorting through my mother's photos. We had very few photographs of us as children, but this black-and-white snapshot presented me as I had never pictured myself. I was standing beside my older sister in our grassy side yard. She was really the object of the photograph, but I happened to be there too. I was in the fourth grade, I know, because we only lived in that house for one very memorable year. My short blonde curls shot out carefree in every direction, my athletic stance was leggy and brown as a berry, my strong arms, muscled and capable, my attitude confident and my smile self-assured. As I gazed at that picture through 50-year old eyes, I wondered what had happened to that girl. I didn't have any idea until I read Mary Pipher's book, Reviving Ophelia. What I discovered, among other things, is that preadolescent girls are allowed to be interested in everything. They enjoy sports, nature, people, music, books, adventures, pretend play, taking risks, and learning new things. Pipher reminds us that girls this age are capable of taking care of themselves and are not yet burdened with caring for others. For a few brief years, they can enjoy being "tomboys", in the words of the author, this means courageous, competent, and irreverent. They are androgynous creatures, able to adapt to any situation regardless of the gender role of that activity, so they enjoy learning carpentry as much as cooking, and shoveling snow as much as shopping. Unfortunately, at some point in early adolescence, these same girls "crash and burn in a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle". Their IQ scores plummet, and their math and science scores drop dramatically. They lose their resilient strength and optimism, while exhibiting reduced curiosity and decreased risk-taking. They become more submissive, self-critical, and depressed as their assertive, energetic personalities disappear. Girls in this age group become very secretive with adults and are full of contradictions, so it is very difficult to communicate with them and to understand what is really happening. In recent years, several theories have been published regarding the reason for this metamorphosis. Simone de Beauvoir believed that adolescent girls suffer from power envy, when they realize that men have the power and their only power comes from becoming "submissive adored objects". Olive Schreiner wrote that the world tells women "what we are to be and shapes us by the ends it sets before us. The less a woman has in her head, the lighter she is for carrying". Margaret Mead believed that the ideal culture is one in which makes a place for every human gift, including the voice and contributions of a woman. Mary Pipher states that adolescent girls experience a social or cultural pressure to deny themselves, to hide their authentic strengths and reveal only a small portion of their gifts. She likens these young girls to "saplings in a hurricane", faced with three major factors that make them especially vulnerable: (1) Their developmental level is already turning their hormones, their body, and their moods upside down, while they are beginning to seek their place and purpose in the world; (2) American culture damages girls' self-image by focusing on personal appearance, sexuality and relative achievement, rather than encouraging them to be comfortable in their skin without sexual pressure, and be strong in themselves without feeling that they are threatening others; (3) American culture expects girls to distance themselves from their parents at the precise age when they need their parents' loving support and protection the most. Adolescent girls are much more at risk today than in the past century. They are exhibiting eating disorders, substance abuse problems, reactions to sexual assaults, sexually transmitted diseases, self-inflicted injuries, and some even run away from home or commit suicide. The rates of these tragedies are going rapidly up, according to the author's research. She raises an important question: Why is there more trouble now, when the United States has had a consciousness-raising women's movement since the 1960's? While we have seen some improvements in the treatment of women in career choices and athletic competitions, it is important to look at the big picture. The Equal Rights Amendment has never been ratified (although the main argument against it, women in combat, has taken place), and while some women have achieved higher level jobs, in the majority of the work force, women still get the short end of the stick, despite the fact that many of them are supporting children single-handedly. Pressures in society have also increased, with women routinely treated as objects by the media (magazines, music, television, movies, the internet, and pornography), and therefore by the culture. Sexual assaults are occurring against girls at younger ages than ever, as sex permeates even the media to which our children are exposed. This is a vital message that needs to be spread, as does the solutions which Pipher presents. I love how Mary Pipher describes adolescence. She states that this is a time of intense idealism, when girls become passionate about something which alters their activities and sometimes, their lives. They might become animal activists, environmentalists, or vegetarians, because girls identify easily with gentle, defenseless, creatures, and will apply their enthusiasm and energy to save them. She acknowledges that adolescence is also a time of great change, because women make choices that will have implications for the rest of their lives: whether to preserve their genuine selves, or institute false identities. The bottom line, per Dr. Pipher, is to provide these girls with "loving parents, decent values, useful information, friends, physical safety, freedom to move about independently, respect for their own uniqueness, and encouragement to grow into productive adults". This is a very simplistic composite of all the great information inside this book. I agree with Dr. Pipher that relationships are key. My students won't regard my opinions in the absence of mutual affection and respect, so I resist the urge to give advice and try instead to nurture the young women's true, best self. Mary Pipher advises us to look within, to acknowledge our young girls' unique gifts, to accept all their feelings (socially acceptable or not), and to help them to discern the difference between thinking and feeling, between choosing instant gratification versus long-term goals. It is vital to help our students see the necessity of making firm, decisive choices regarding their values and personal worth, for each girl to recognize her own voice as separate and distinct from the voices of others. Dr. Pipher advises adolescent girls to "follow your own North Star, your sense of who you truly are". She provides numerous strategies for parents and teachers to follow to empower these young women to achieve this. Margaret Fuller (1810-1850): "What a woman needs is not as a woman to act or rule, but as a nature to grow, as an intellect to discern, as a soul to live freely and unimpeded to unfold such powers as are given to her." Written on September 28, 2007 Summary: Reviving Ophelia Required reading for parents and grandparents of young girls. I give it as a gift. Gives a fresh look at pressures that drive young girls to behave in ways that mask their true personalities very early on. In other words, how they are driven to manipulative behaviors to gain the approval of men and what it costs them if it begins too soon. The strongest concept in the book is allowing girls to retain their "authenticity" as they mature by encouraging them to follow interests that engender a belief in their unique abilities. I don't think I've read the entire book which is a series of case histories because it seems somewhat repetitive toward the end. Written on August 27, 2007 Summary: ophelia - an eye opener This book is both startling and hopeful in its portrayal of young adolescent women and the trials they face in today's world. I have recommended it to my friends and family who have daughters ten and older. The stories are heart-wrenching, frightening, but also promising. Some of the young women whose cases are presented face terrible obstacles, yet they not only survive adolescence, they thrive. The author gives us a shockingly honest glimpse into the physical, mental and spiritual lives of our daughters growing up in a world that worships physical beauty. It shows us the inner sense of betrayal and anger that girls feel when pressured to look and behave contrary to their true selves and how this anger is often manifested in dangerous choices and the rejection of their loved ones at a time when they most need their protection. Written on July 27, 2007 Summary: Gender Gap Since the inception of psychology, the differing characteristics of females have been ignored until more recent times. While I commend Dr. Pipher in her effort to explore adolesence from the female perspective, I sometimes found myself disagreeing with her thesis. Even with the flaws that I perceived, I found this book to be valuable reading. The main thesis behind this book is the difficulties of contemporary adolescent females on two fronts: neglect of unique female needs in schools and a media which exhibits unreasonable expectations of females. Even after reading her explanations of the problems in schools, I am not certain that I agree with Pipher. Schools can not force a person to learn. I really believe the cultural expectation for a girl to be pretty and find a good husband is dying. Females now compose a greater percentage of college enrollment. In all my years of education, I have never observed a trend of girls squandering their time in school more than boys. If anything, I believe girls are much better students in junior high and high school. Pipher's other argument regards the unreasonable expectations of females brought about by media. While I would agree with this assessment, my problem is the responsibility for creating this quandry. Girls pose for these pictures and allow themselves to be exploited. When this stops happening, the media will change. This is a process any rights movement must go through. Working in both inner city and rural schools, I have never seen the "abuse" toward females that Pipher claims occurs regularly. Supervising the halls as most teachers do, this behavior would never be tolerated. I can not speak for what happens in off-school or unsupervised settings, but I believe Pipher may be using her cases to label the whole of society. But knowing what happens in isolated situations, I would agree that the adolescent boys need "softening". Though much of my review reflects my disagreements with Pipher, I believe her case stories gave me a new perspective on what may be happening in the lives of adolescent girls. In this way, this book is a valuable resource for teachers and parents. |
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| Catalog | Book | Book | Book | Book | Book | Book |
| Release date | 2005-08-01 | 2000-04-04 | 1999-04 | 2003-04-01 | 2003-03-04 | 2002-10-01 |
| Media | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback |
| Number of pages | 304 | 320 | 476 | 320 | 352 | 272 |
| Ean | 9781594481888 | 9780345434852 | 9780805061833 | 9780156027342 | 9781400047925 | 9780345455383 |
| Book Isbn | 1594481881 | 0345434854 | 0805061835 | 0156027348 | 1400047927 | 034545538X |
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