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The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace | |||||||
 
| 80% Recommended by our customers. Publisher: NAL Trade Catalog: Book Release date: 2005-04-05 Media: Paperback Number of pages: 256 Ean: 9780451214195 Book Isbn: 0451214196  Tip: compare prices with similar booksAuthor:
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| Professional Review: |
| A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother, which includes advice on The kids: Adjusting to suspicion, resentment, and biological-parent loyalties; The ex-wife: Living calmly alongside her, whether she's a psycho or the perfect mother; The holidays: Accommodating old family traditions and developing new ones; The sex: Keeping love alive through the kids' bed-wetting and nightmares. Plus an invaluable list of resources, websites, publications, and organizations specifically for the new stepmother. |
| User Reviews: |
 Written on July 2, 2007 Summary: Fantastic! This is a must read for any woman who is about to become a step-mother, and especially for any step-mother dealing with a P.E.W. (Sally's acronym for Psycho Ex Wife). To feel less alone in my tribulations was exhilarating. I especially enjoyed hearing about the "evil twin"...I thought I was the only one who had one (it's the part of you that comes out when you're really going through hell; the part of you that has not so nice thoughts and acts out in ways you never thought possible). I was glad to learn this was normal. I didn't think there was anything that could prepare someone for the realistic possibilities of enduring multiple nightmares on a regular basis, but this book does a pretty good job. The greatest part of the book is that it teaches you how to take the high road - how NOT to be driven insane BY the insane. This book would make a great shower/wedding gift for someone who is about to enter the unknown...at least to have it on hand if/when things get nutty.  Written on July 2, 2007 Summary: Not too helpful if you're looking for a progressive approach to becoming a stepmother The message I heard repeatedly from this book is that as a stepmother, you will always have to adapt to your husband's family. There are no expectations that your husband, his ex-wife, and his kids meet you, the stepmother, in the middle somewhere. It tends to preserve the idea that stepmoms are second class citizens, and that they'll just have to adapt to their husband's self-centered family and ex-wife. If your husband really loves you, he should be willing to sit down with you before the wedding and discuss ways of how his family and ex-wife can meet you in the middle, and how he will make a commitment to make space for you in the family. It's also wise to read a couple of personal financial planning books together BEFORE the wedding if finances are messy. There were no ideas in the book on how to change the negative stereotype of stepmoms, because as long as stepmoms have no expectations for their husbands' families, they will often be greeted with disrespectful behavior, and they will continue to be looked down upon. In my opinion, when you date or marry a parent with kids, try not to get wrapped up in family status struggles or Bjornsen's term "blood status" on page 209 & 210. If you live a positive, interesting life and expose your husband and his kids to positive, interesting activities and ideas, you will gain the kind of respect that talented school teachers often get. Throw the term "stepmom" out and reinvent yourself as a positive, healthy role model that encourages your husband's kids to become interesting people. If you find yourself fighting about how the holidays will unfold, create new traditions and holidays and rise above the arguments over who gets the kids on Dec. 25th, etc. These days, most families don't celebrate holidays on their actual dates anyway because it's hard enough to get everyone together due to work schedules. Finally, this book makes it sound like as a stepmom, you have no family of your own and you only have your husband's family. Most stepmoms do have parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, kids of their own, so I encourage stepmoms to strengthen those family ties so that they're not so emotionally dependent on their husband's family. This book will speak to the woman who sees herself as not being worthy enough to be met in the middle.  Written on June 28, 2007 Summary: No book prepares you for hell I would suggest "Ex-Wives and Ex-LIves" over this book. This book seems politically correct but doesn't delve into the stench of reality. I don't care how perfect you, as a new wife want to be, the kids and ex are often there to undermine you and sap you of any energy and motivation. I had "Humor and Grace" through gritted teeth and not one moment I spent, even with the step-kids who LOVED me, was worth the trouble of marrying a man with baggage. Even when the kids are great, the ex-wife is usually a problem 9 times out of 10. There's always some drama and it gets old really fast. Try the other book I mentioned at top of paragraph for a more realistic look. I'll add a review there too. I wish I had info when I became a step-parent and though these books aren't perfect, they're better advice than nothing. If anything they'll help you keep your sanity a while longer. Written on June 17, 2007 Summary: LIFE SAVER! I just started reading this book and already feel 100% better! I have a better understanding of my "evil twin' who emerges at the most inappropriate times when around my boyfriends' 7-y/o son; which is typically when I'm feeling alientated or left out. Go figure...this book is putting those feelings in perspective, and even though we aren't married yet, this is still a perfect book if you are in a committed relationship with a man with childen and a psycho ex-wife! Written on June 1, 2007 Summary: I recommend it to all my single girl turned stepmom friends! I'm 30, I've been single and able to be selfish most of my life. Now I am in love with a man and his kid and having crazy thoughts about how to deal with his ex. Through reality and laughter, this book helped normalize my seemingly "crazy" emotions and thoughts and actually made me feel really good about my situation. It's a quick, fun, sometimes all to truthful read that is truly applicable to the single girl turned step mom. |
| Comparison map |
| Wondering how the book "The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace" relates to similar books? Find out at a glance here: |
| Price comparison |
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| Our price | $11.20 | $11.20 | $10.95 | $10.85 | $13.45 | $11.16 |
| List price | $14.00 | $14.00 | $10.95 | $15.95 | $13.95 | $13.95 |
| Lowest used price | $5.80 | $7.44 | $8.25 | $3.55 | $7.96 | $2.00 |
| Lowest new price | $5.97 | $7.97 | $6.40 | $7.58 | $8.59 | $7.92 |
| Collectible price | $12.95 | - | - | - | - | - |
| Catalog | Book | Book | Book | Book | Book | Book |
| Release date | 2005-04-05 | 2001-09-25 | 2004-08 | 1999-03-01 | 2001-03-09 | 2002-02-26 |
| Media | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback | Paperback |
| Number of pages | 256 | 272 | 128 | 464 | 256 | 272 |
| Ean | 9780451214195 | 9780609807446 | 9780975296400 | 9780380796045 | 9780312253653 | 9780609807415 |
| Book Isbn | 0451214196 | 0609807447 | 097529640X | 038079604X | 0312253656 | 0609807412 |
| Link to shop* (opens in a new window) | BUY IT NOW* | BUY IT NOW* | BUY IT NOW* | BUY IT NOW* | BUY IT NOW* | BUY IT NOW* |
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